SEPTEMBER 24, 2006

Full News Archive

• Headline: Adjustable-Rate Mortgages and Rising Payments. Impact: The rise in adjustable-rate mortgage payments triggered a nationwide game of 'who can hold their breath the longest while checking their bank account,' leading to an unprecedented boom in yoga classes and lessons on deep breathing.. Fact: Adjustable-rate mortgages are like that friend who keeps asking for money back but never pays you back; you always end up regretting the initial agreement..
• Headline: Nationals' Johnson Injured in Mets Victory. Impact: Nick Johnson's injury not only ended his season but also inspired a new line of protective gear for baseball players, which is now a fashion statement in both sports and hipster circles. Who knew leg fractures were the catalyst for a new trend?. Fact: Injuries in sports often lead to more attention on player safety, which explains why half of all baseball players can be seen wearing more padding than an overstuffed couch..
• Headline: Spy Agencies Say Iraq War Worsens Terrorism Threat. Impact: The acknowledgment that the Iraq War worsened the terrorism threat led to a secret meeting of world leaders who decided the best way to combat terrorism was to explore alternative methods of diplomacy—like interpretive dance. Spoiler alert: it didn't work.. Fact: It's ironic how many wars are fought in the name of peace, but then again, history has a funny way of repeating itself, much like that one annoying pop song..
• Headline: A Dog’s Life, Upgraded. Impact: The upgrade in dog kennel amenities sparked a revolution in pet pampering, ultimately leading to a rise in 'dog influencers' on social media who now have more followers than most humans. Welcome to the canine aristocracy!. Fact: Studies show that dogs can understand about 165 words, while their owners typically have about 1,000 excuses for why they can't take them for a walk..