JULY 21, 2006

Full News Archive

• Headline: Ford Accelerates Turnaround Efforts. Impact: Ford's desperate attempts to revive itself led to a series of unfortunate design choices that would ultimately result in the creation of cars that could double as coffee tables. Thank you, 'Way Forward' plan, for the future of automotive furniture!. Fact: Did you know that Ford's turnaround plans have been so frequent that they should just name their next car the 'Quarterly Loss'? It would definitely sell better..
• Headline: Behind Bars, He Turns M&M’s Into an Art Form. Impact: Who could have predicted that a man in solitary confinement would revolutionize the world of prison art? Donny's work with M&M's would inspire a new wave of 'sweet' creativity behind bars, leading to the first-ever M&M art gallery opening—because who doesn’t want to see chocolate masterpieces?. Fact: Fun fact: M&M's are now considered the official medium for 'imprisoned expression.' Next up, we’ll see the rise of gummy bear sculptures!.
• Headline: For Football Star and His Wife, Divorce Doesn’t End Battle. Impact: The divorce battle of these two celebrities turned into a media circus, paving the way for future celebrity divorces to be more about public spectacle than personal resolution. Thanks, Michael and Jean, for showing us that love can indeed turn into a soap opera.. Fact: Did you know that the more public the divorce, the more lucrative the book deals? I guess love really does pay off… just not for the couples involved..