JULY 12, 2006

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Rise of Distressed Denim. Impact: The tortured jeans led to a global obsession with distressed fashion, sparking trends that would eventually cause every teenager to own a pair of jeans that looked like they survived a tornado.. Fact: Jeans were once considered workwear for miners, but now they’re fashionably 'distressed.' Because who wouldn’t want to pay extra for something that looks like it survived a mud fight?.
• Headline: Health Industry Supports Clinton's Senate Bid. Impact: Hillary's newfound friends in the health industry set a precedent for political alliances that would make future politicians wonder if they should just start wearing corporate logos like NASCAR drivers.. Fact: In politics, 'support' often translates to 'we'll scratch your back if you don’t scratch ours.' It's basically a bipartisan back-scratching club..
• Headline: Violence Escalates in Baghdad Amid Crisis. Impact: The violence in Baghdad was a pivotal moment that contributed to a never-ending cycle of conflict and foreign intervention, proving once again that history loves a good tragedy.. Fact: The phrase 'low-grade civil war' is just a fancy way of saying 'let's not call it what it really is, because that sounds too serious.'.
• Headline: U.S. Finance Pulls Biotech Across Seas. Impact: The shift of biotech investments to Europe might have led to a future where American scientists find themselves explaining their revolutionary ideas over overpriced lattes in cozy European cafes.. Fact: It turns out that while Americans were busy funding biotech, Europeans were perfecting the art of making it look trendy. Who knew science could also be fashionable?.
• Headline: The Six-Play ‘DruidSynge’: Why Not Take All of Him?. Impact: The appreciation for DruidSynge may have sparked a resurgence in Irish literature, causing future generations to ponder why they ever thought reading was boring in the first place.. Fact: DruidSynge is like that obscure band everyone claims to love after they hit it big. It's all very 'I've always liked that!' when, in reality, they just discovered it last week..