JANUARY 20, 2006

Full News Archive

• Headline: Public Access for AT&T's Historic Lobby. Impact: If they had never landmarked the lobby, who knows? Maybe AT&T would have turned it into a theme park celebrating the wonders of outdated technology. Imagine a ride called 'The Dial-Up Coaster'!. Fact: Did you know that the Parthenon is actually a better place for public access than most of AT&T's customer service lines? At least here, you can actually see something!.
• Headline: Enron Trial and Whistle-Blower Importance. Impact: This trial led to stricter regulations in accounting, which eventually caused accountants everywhere to wear capes and start thinking of themselves as financial superheroes. But let's be real, they still wear khakis.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more inflated than Enron's profits at the time was the egos of their executives? Talk about a hot air balloon competition!.
• Headline: Tragic Case of Nixzmary Brown. Impact: This tragic event sparked discussions on child welfare that rippled through legislation, leading to a world where people actually take children's rights seriously. Who would've thought that would take so long?. Fact: It's chilling to think that in some circles, physical punishment was once considered a loving gesture. Spoiler alert: It wasn't..
• Headline: Google Resists U.S. Subpoena of Search Data. Impact: This small act of defiance set off a chain reaction that eventually led to widespread awareness about online privacy, and now everyone is paranoid about what their toaster knows about them. Thanks, Google!. Fact: Did you know that Google has more data on us than our own mothers? They might as well start giving us parenting advice!.
• Headline: Paul Motian: Rhythm Melodist. Impact: Motian's influence on jazz drumming led to a renaissance of creativity, which eventually birthed countless hipster coffee shops where patrons sip overpriced lattes while debating the merits of polyrhythms. How avant-garde!. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more complex than Motian's rhythms is trying to find a seat in a crowded West Village cafe? Good luck!.