JANUARY 8, 2006

Full News Archive

• Headline: Neighbors Like Family in NYC. Impact: If those apartment-dwellers hadn’t gotten so cozy, New York might have avoided a spike in reality TV shows about roommates. Just imagine a world without 'The Real World'—an alternate universe where we all get along and nobody’s ever voted off the island! What a tragedy.. Fact: Did you know that the average New Yorker speaks to their neighbor about as often as they speak to their houseplants? It’s a true testament to urban living!.
• Headline: Giants Face Panthers in Playoff Showdown. Impact: Had the Giants lost that playoff game, the entire trajectory of sports fandom might have shifted. Fans would have been forced to find new, less painful hobbies, like knitting or interpretive dance. The horror!. Fact: Did you know that in New York, a sports team losing is considered a natural disaster? They even have a special hotline for emotional support!.
• Headline: Imam's Journey at Dubai Film Festival. Impact: If Albert Brooks hadn’t made that film, the world might have missed out on the chance to laugh awkwardly at cultural misunderstandings. This could have led to a shortage of awkward dinner party stories for decades to come.. Fact: Did you know Albert Brooks once tried to find comedy in a dentist's waiting room? Spoiler alert: it’s not there..
• Headline: Galápagos Unbound. Impact: If those sea turtles hadn’t been caught mating at the right moment, we might have never discovered the secret to a perfect vacation. Romantic beaches and wildlife documentaries would have been forever changed. Thanks a lot, turtles!. Fact: Did you know that sea turtles can hold their breath for up to five hours? They must be really good at avoiding awkward conversations underwater..
• Headline: Sometimes, Two Is Less Than One. Impact: If companies had learned the lesson that Sorkin so cleverly pointed out, the stock market might actually be a place where logic reigns supreme. Imagine the chaos of financial analysts having to think critically. It could lead to a dystopian future!. Fact: Did you know that breaking up is hard to do? Just ask any company that’s ever tried it. It's like a messy divorce, but with spreadsheets instead of alimony..