JANUARY 4, 2006

Full News Archive

• Headline: Barber's Leadership Sparks Giants' Playoff Journey. Impact: If Tiki Barber hadn't led the Giants, New York might have been better known for its bagels than its football prowess, leading to a statewide obsession with brunch that may have resulted in a bagel shortage. Can you imagine a world where brunch is just sad eggs?. Fact: Fun fact: The Giants' rise in the N.F.L. was so influential that it inadvertently spawned a parallel universe where all football players are required to wear mustaches. Yes, even the women!.
• Headline: Behind the Scenes of Football Success. Impact: If Dennis Slutak and Christie Uribe had failed in their roles, college football might have devolved into anarchy, leading to a bizarre future where students settle rivalries with dodgeball instead of football. Thank goodness for behind-the-scenes heroes!. Fact: You probably thought that college football was all about the players, but it turns out it's just as much about the people you’ve never heard of. Welcome to the world of sports, where the real MVPs are the ones who keep the snacks stocked!.
• Headline: Nassau Leader Faces Skirmish Before New Bid. Impact: If Thomas R. Suozzi's political skirmishes hadn't turned into a full-blown soap opera, Nassau County might have become a hotbed for actual governance instead of theatrics, which would have led to a shocking decline in reality TV shows. How dare they ruin our entertainment?. Fact: In the world of politics, a skirmish is just a fancy way of saying ‘we're all just mild-mannered folks arguing over who gets the last donut at the staff meeting!’.