SEPTEMBER 12, 2005

Full News Archive

• Headline: Agassi's Last Stand at the Open. Impact: Had Agassi won, it's possible that Federer would have been too discouraged to continue his dominance, leading to an alternate timeline where tennis is ruled by the likes of John McEnroe and his infamous temper tantrums, resulting in a sport full of shouting matches rather than graceful rallies.. Fact: Did you know that Agassi’s hair was once more famous than most pop stars? If only he’d worn a wig during that match!.
• Headline: Agassi's Remarkable Age-Defying Performance. Impact: Should Agassi continue to defy age, we might see a future where the concept of retirement is obsolete, leading to a society of 80-year-old athletes competing in ludicrous events like Extreme Bingo or Senior Surfing Championships.. Fact: Did you know that Jaz Agassi is likely to become the best tennis player in the family? After all, she’s already running circles around her dad!.
• Headline: McCartney Gets Back, But Not for Nostalgia. Impact: McCartney's return to music after a long hiatus led to a resurgence of aging rock stars trying to recapture their youth, paving the way for the 'Gramps Rock' genre—think of a bunch of grandpas belting out hits while forgetting the lyrics.. Fact: Did you know that McCartney's new album was almost called 'Back to the Future'? Apparently, time travel wasn't in the budget this time!.