AUGUST 29, 2005

Full News Archive

• Headline: Garage Rock Meets Garage Critics. Impact: If David Carr had never reviewed that garage rock album, we might have never had a cultural renaissance of flannel shirts and ironic mustaches. The ensuing hipster apocalypse could have been avoided, and perhaps even the rise of artisanal toast would have been stunted.. Fact: Pitchfork was actually founded on a dare—someone bet Ryan Schreiber he couldn't make a living judging music while living in a garage. Spoiler alert: he won..
• Headline: Catskill Casinos: Decision Delays Delay Progress. Impact: The indecision over Catskill casinos created a ripple effect where residents began to develop an affinity for roulette wheels in general, leading to an unexpected spike in game night parties and a national obsession with themed cocktails. Who knew the fate of a region could hinge on a few chips?. Fact: Catskill casinos were actually a failed plot by local squirrels to distract humans while they raided bird feeders. True story..
• Headline: Super Double Top Secret at the US Open. Impact: The United States Open's decision to paint the courts blue sparked a worldwide trend in sports aesthetics. Next thing you know, cricket fields were covered in neon colors, and soccer pitches were mistaken for art installations. Thank you, tennis!. Fact: The blue courts were originally painted as a way to confuse the players, who keep misplacing their tennis balls. Spoiler alert: it worked..
• Headline: Trying to Step Out of the Other Guy's Shadow. Impact: The rivalry between Gifford Miller and Anthony D. Weiner had such a profound effect that it led to an increase in political memes and a national obsession with Twitter debates. This can be traced back to their heated exchanges, which inadvertently trained millions to argue over breakfast.. Fact: Political debates have now officially replaced reality TV, thanks to the preparedness of candidates to throw shade and sarcasm instead of policy proposals..
• Headline: INSIDE. Impact: The tragic event at the bus station marked a turning point in global security measures. Ironically, it also led to a spike in bus station coffee shops, where baristas had to learn to recognize suspicious behavior instead of just serving lattes.. Fact: This was the first time the phrase 'better safe than sorry' was taken to heart in the realm of public transportation, leading to endless 'safety seminars' that no one actually wanted to attend..