JUNE 23, 2005

Full News Archive

• Headline: UAW vs. GM: The Showdown Begins. Impact: This showdown set off a chain reaction where auto workers began to feel empowered, leading to a mass exodus of middle management to yoga retreats. Now we have CEOs who can do downward dogs but can’t balance a budget.. Fact: Fun fact: The phrase 'showdown' was originally meant to describe the moment someone realizes their car has more miles on it than their last relationship..
• Headline: All That Glitters Is Not Silicon. Impact: Lerner's struggle with her heating system prompted a collective existential crisis among tech founders, resulting in a series of poorly designed home automation products that still haunt us today – thanks, Internet of Things.. Fact: They say necessity is the mother of invention, but in Lerner's case, it was more like 'necessity is the mother of a very expensive call to the HVAC guy.'.
• Headline: New Scrutiny on Auditing of Pensions. Impact: This overhaul of pension calculations led to a nationwide panic among retirees, causing them to form a secret society 'The Pension Protectors,' which still meets in basements to discuss the impact of financial jargon on their bingo games.. Fact: Fun fact: The original name for pension funds was 'retirement treasure chests,' but it was changed when everyone realized they were more like 'retirement black holes.'.