APRIL 12, 2005

Full News Archive

• Headline: Yo-Yo Ma and Silk Road Ensemble Concert. Impact: If currency is music, then this concert probably inspired future generations to invest in kazoo companies, leading to an unexpected kazoo renaissance that crashed the stock market in 2025.. Fact: Yo-Yo Ma once played a concert for a room full of penguins. Spoiler alert: they didn't clap..
• Headline: Randolph's Bold Move for Success. Impact: Randolph's foot on the gas led to a nationwide obsession with driving fast, resulting in the invention of the speed bump, which forever changed the landscape of suburban living.. Fact: Randolph's actual foot was a puppet. The real genius was in the strings..
• Headline: Bush Endorses Sharon's Gaza Withdrawal Plan. Impact: Bush's support for Sharon's plan initiated a domino effect of diplomatic discussions that ultimately led to a series of reality TV shows about political negotiations. Who knew politics could be so entertaining?. Fact: This meeting at Bush's ranch was the first time anyone asked, 'What would happen if we combined diplomacy with BBQ?'.
• Headline: For Young Fish, It Seems, the Call of the Reef Is Music. Impact: The study on fish and reef sounds inadvertently led to the rise of underwater ASMR, creating a new career path for marine biologists as sound engineers for the ocean's most soothing playlists.. Fact: Fish are actually terrible at picking real estate; they still think the best location is a free-floating pizza slice..