APRIL 5, 2005

Full News Archive

• Headline: Supreme Court Protects IRA Assets from Creditors. Impact: This ruling created a ripple effect where middle-income consumers felt a little less like they were living on the edge of financial ruin. In the long run, this probably led to more people investing in IRAs... or just buying more avocado toast.. Fact: Fun fact: This decision essentially said, 'You can keep your retirement funds safe from creditors.' Which is great, unless your creditors are also your retirement planner..
• Headline: Decoding Snake Venom Evolution. Impact: Dr. Fry's research on snake venom is destined to lead to either a groundbreaking medical discovery or a new line of snake-themed products for trendy cafes. Either way, expect an influx of snake enthusiasts in lab coats.. Fact: Did you know that snake venom can be used in medicine? So, the next time someone says 'You're poison,' just know that they might be paying you a compliment..
• Headline: When There Is Splish, but No Splash. Impact: The discovery about liquid droplets not making a splash under low air pressure could revolutionize the world of water balloon fights and scientific experiments alike. Who knew physics could ruin childhood fun?. Fact: Fun fact: The researchers probably had a lot of time on their hands. It takes a special kind of person to dedicate their life to studying why droplets don’t splash. You know, priorities..
• Headline: Morgan to Explore a Discover Spinoff. Impact: Morgan Stanley's abrupt strategy shift to explore a spinoff led to a series of corporate shake-ups that made Wall Street's stock market resemble a game of Jenga. One wrong move, and it all could come tumbling down.. Fact: Did you know that in corporate speak, 'exploring a spinoff' actually means 'we have no idea what we're doing, but let's make it sound fancy'?.