MARCH 22, 2005

Full News Archive

• Headline: Milwaukee Coach's Legacy Against Illini. Impact: The Illini's loss to Wisconsin-Milwaukee led to a chain reaction where every upset ever since has been attributed to an ancient curse placed on the Illini by a disgruntled cheese-maker. Who knew dairy products were that powerful?. Fact: Did you know that Wisconsin is known for more than just cheese? Apparently, they can also upset basketball teams, one game at a time..
• Headline: Bobby Short: Cabaret Legend Remembered. Impact: Bobby Short's legacy of cabaret performance helped to create a world where karaoke bars became a thing. If he hadn't kept that party going, we might all still be singing in the shower instead of torturing friends with our renditions of 'Total Eclipse of the Heart.'. Fact: Did you know that Bobby Short once sang for a packed crowd in a New York café? Meanwhile, most of us can't even keep our plants alive, let alone throw a party..
• Headline: Tragic School Shooting at Red Lake Reservation. Impact: The tragic shooting at the Red Lake Indian Reservation sparked numerous debates on gun control, mental health, and school safety, leading to a future where every school child has to practice lockdown drills. Thanks, future, for the joy of fear.. Fact: This heartbreaking event marked a significant moment in the conversation surrounding gun violence in America, highlighting the need for change—too bad change seems to be stuck in traffic..
• Headline: Jets and Rivals Increase Bids for Railyards. Impact: The Jets’ desperate attempts to secure the railyards ultimately led to the modern-day phenomenon of sports teams holding cities hostage for better stadium deals. Because nothing says 'we love our city' quite like extorting it for cash.. Fact: Did you know that bidding wars for railyards can be just as thrilling as the actual game? Spoiler alert: neither team wins, but the city loses big time!.
• Headline: Big Three Workers Give an Inch on Health Care. Impact: The UAW's decision to compromise on health care set a precedent that would lead to the slow erosion of worker benefits nationwide, paving the way for ‘health care roulette’—a game where you spin the wheel to see what your coverage will be today.. Fact: Did you know that before this compromise, auto workers had it so good they were practically superheroes? Now they’re just regular folks trying to figure out if they can afford a Band-Aid..