JANUARY 26, 2005

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Aviator's Historic Oscar Nominations. Impact: Had 'The Aviator' not received those 11 nominations, Martin Scorsese might have felt so unfulfilled that he would have directed a reality show about penguins, changing the course of reality TV forever. Who knew a flight with Leonardo could lead to flightless birds taking the spotlight?. Fact: Did you know that Scorsese has a cameo in almost every one of his films? Maybe he should have just nominated himself for best supporting director..
• Headline: Wagering on Drug Prices: A Rahr Success Story. Impact: Stewart Rahr's gambling on drug prices created a generation of hedge fund managers who now believe they can predict the weather with the same accuracy as they predict stock prices. Thanks to him, we now have 'Invest in Sunshine' as a new investment strategy!. Fact: Did you know that some people consider the stock market to be a glorified casino? So Rahr basically just upgraded his poker game to Wall Street..
• Headline: Rapid Recovery for NYC Subway Lines. Impact: The quicker subway repairs led to a sudden surge in New Yorkers taking public transport instead of Uber, which in turn caused a shortage of drivers who then took up knitting. Thus, the great New York knitting renaissance began, forever changing the city’s fashion scene.. Fact: Did you know that New York’s subway system is older than sliced bread? And yet, there are still days when it feels like the trains are powered by a hamster wheel..
• Headline: Waffling on Gambling in Catskills. Impact: If gambling had been approved in the Catskills, we might have seen the rise of a new breed of professional gamblers who swap their high-rollers for tiny cabins and start a trend of 'hillbilly chic' casinos. You can't spell 'Sullivan' without 'fun'!. Fact: Did you know the Catskills were once the go-to vacation spot for the rich and famous? Now, it's just a spot for 'who can lose their money the fastest'..
• Headline: Pataki Proposes Bonus to Colleges Whose Students Finish on Time. Impact: Pataki’s proposal to reward timely graduates resulted in a nationwide trend where colleges started offering 'speed dating' for degrees. In an ironic twist, couples who met during these events began graduating faster, leading to a rise in wedding ceremonies at graduation parties.. Fact: Did you know that the average time it takes to graduate can often be longer than a Netflix binge session? And yet, here we are, rewarding the overachievers..