DECEMBER 15, 2004

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Art of Selecting a Chef's Knife. Impact: Matt and Ted Lee's exploration of knife selection ignited a culinary revolution where chefs began to take their knives way too seriously. By 2025, culinary schools had to implement 'Knife Handling Etiquette' classes to prevent the rise of kitchen feuds.. Fact: Fun fact: The first knife was invented by cavemen who realized that using their teeth was just too much work. Thank you, evolution!.
• Headline: Pedro Martinez: A Pitcher's Dual Nature. Impact: Pedro Martinez's unpredictable nature led to the invention of reality TV sports shows where athletes' off-field antics became as popular as their on-field performances. Who knew that throwing a tantrum could lead to a multi-million dollar franchise?. Fact: Did you know that 'Pedro' is actually short for 'Pedro-ble Drama'? Just kidding—it's not, but it should be..
• Headline: Missteps Cited in Kerik Vetting by White House. Impact: The vetting missteps of Bernard B. Kerik paved the way for a new era in political appointments where candidates would be vetted based on their ability to dodge questions and spin narratives. This culminated in the first-ever 'Spin Olympics' in 2028.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'trust but verify' was actually coined by a politician trying to sound wise while clearly not doing either?.
• Headline: For the Red Sox, Loyalty Is a Dish Not Served at All. Impact: Harvey Araton's column on loyalty sparked a worldwide movement where players began to demand loyalty contracts from teams, leading to the first-ever 'Player Loyalty Day' where fans had to pledge undying allegiance while wearing ridiculous outfits.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more fickle than a sports team's loyalty is a cat's affection. You know it’s true!.