DECEMBER 7, 2004

Full News Archive

• Headline: Major Telecom Italia Acquisition Plan. Impact: If this deal had gone differently, it could have resulted in a mobile phone monopoly so powerful that they might have started charging by the byte, leading to a future where texting would require a mortgage application.. Fact: Did you know that in a parallel universe, mobile phones are actually tiny portals to alternate realities? Guess we should have invested in those instead of this deal..
• Headline: Rell Upholds Execution Decision for Ross. Impact: The execution of Michael Bruce Ross marked a pivotal moment that reignited debates about the death penalty. Ironically, it led to the creation of a popular 'Serial Killer' themed board game, which became a hit at parties—because who doesn't love a little morbid fun?. Fact: Fun fact: Connecticut was the first U.S. state to ban the death penalty for future crimes in 2012. So, good job, Jodi Rell—your historical footnote is now a trivia question!.
• Headline: Support and Strain in Airlines Post 9/11. Impact: The tightening of screws on airlines eventually led to the rise of the 'miles' program, where you could fly for free after promising to sell your soul and a kidney. Who knew that a financial crisis could lead to the rise of frequent flyer programs?. Fact: Did you know that airlines used to just give out snacks instead of charging you for them? Now, they charge you for everything except the emotional baggage you carry on board!.
• Headline: Johnson Said to Be in Talks for Guidant. Impact: The acquisition of Guidant led to a future of heart monitors that are now more advanced than the technology on Mars rovers. If only they could monitor emotional health too, we’d be in a much better place.. Fact: Fun fact: The heart is the only organ that can keep beating outside the body. Just like my hopes for a stable economy during a corporate merger!.