NOVEMBER 2, 2004

Full News Archive

• Headline: Alzheimer's Crisis and Its Impacts. Impact: If only Alzheimer’s had a memory of its own, it might remember that the subsequent increase in demand for caregivers led to a booming industry, which ultimately caused the rise of professional home health services. So, thanks, Alzheimer's! You indirectly created a new job sector.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'Alzheimer's' comes from the name of Dr. Alois Alzheimer, who first described the disease in 1906? Talk about a lasting legacy, huh?.
• Headline: Britain Wins Contract for Dubai Mall. Impact: The construction of a mall in Dubai led to an explosion of shopping complexes worldwide, prompting suburban America to build malls no one visits except for the food court. Thanks for the empty parking lots, Dubai!. Fact: Clearly, shopping is the universal language. Who needs diplomacy when you can just build a giant mall and call it a day?.
• Headline: Japan's Currency Redesign Against Counterfeiting. Impact: Japan’s new currency design led to a worldwide trend in currency redesigns, leading to a global shortage of artists as every country suddenly decided they needed snazzy new bills. Thanks a lot, Japan! Now I’m forced to reconsider my career path.. Fact: Fun fact: Japan’s new bills are so pretty that people are actually more likely to keep them for decoration than spend them! Who knew money could be so 'Instagrammable'?.
• Headline: Jets Are at Top of Their Game, and Back at Top of the Heap. Impact: The Jets' victory momentarily lifted the spirits of New Yorkers, but it also led to a decade-long cycle of false hope and disappointing seasons. Thanks for the emotional rollercoaster, Jets!. Fact: Did you know that the Jets have such a loyal fan base that they could probably sell out a stadium for a game of Monopoly? Because sometimes, hope is all they've got!.
• Headline: O'Neal Signs New Partnership Agreement. Impact: Shaquille O'Neal’s partnership agreement not only changed the dynamics of the Miami Heat but also paved the way for celebrity athletes to become brand icons. Thanks for making it easier for athletes to market themselves, Shaq!. Fact: Did you know Shaquille O'Neal is so versatile that he’s tried everything from acting to rapping? Just when you thought he was done, he pops up again, like a very tall jack-in-the-box!.