OCTOBER 10, 2004

Full News Archive

• Headline: Fathers Taking Charge of Pediatric Visits. Impact: If Dr. Spock had met Mr. Mom earlier, we might have skipped decades of 'dad bod' memes. Instead, we got a generation of fathers who think a diaper bag is a man purse. Thanks, Manhattan!. Fact: In a parallel universe, Mr. Mom became the top grossing film of all time while Dr. Spock was just a character on a forgotten sci-fi show..
• Headline: The Healing Power of Prayer Debate. Impact: The debate over prayer's healing powers led to the rise of alternative medicine practitioners who now sell 'healing crystals' and 'energy vortex' tours. Next, they'll claim the power of a good Yelp review can cure anything.. Fact: Some studies suggest that prayer might work better than placebo, which is ironic because most people pray for better doctors..
• Headline: Sierra's Dramatic Homecoming Highlights Yankees' Victory. Impact: Ruben Sierra's home run not only solidified his reputation but also inspired a surge of baseball-themed reality shows, leading to the eventual creation of 'Dads Who Hit Homers' – a hit TV show where players teach their kids about rebellion.. Fact: Sierra's rebellious phase was so notorious that it inspired a line of 'bad boy' action figures. They came with a warning: 'Do not follow these footpaths!'.
• Headline: Wealth of Others Helped to Shape Kerry's Life. Impact: John Kerry's elite upbringing inadvertently paved the way for the rise of politically ambitious trust fund babies, making 'wealthy' the new 'qualified' for public office. Future politicians will thank him for that!. Fact: Senators from wealthy backgrounds are 75% more likely to be invited to exclusive yacht parties. Coincidence? I think not..
• Headline: Get Me Rewrite. Now. Bullets Are Flying.. Impact: The perilous conditions for reporters in Iraq led to a new genre of 'war journalism' that is basically just a modern-day retelling of Homer's Iliad, but with more hashtags and fewer epic battles.. Fact: The phrase 'Get me rewrite' is now used by editors who are just too scared to say 'Get me a new reporter!'.