SEPTEMBER 13, 2004

Full News Archive

• Headline: Kerry Critiques Bush on North Korea Policy. Impact: Kerry's accusation set off an unexpected chain reaction, leading to years of awkward diplomatic dinners where Bush and Kerry debated the merits of nuclear disarmament over appetizers. Who knew a simple comment could impact dinner menus for decades?. Fact: Did you know that ignoring a nuclear threat is like ignoring a toddler with a crayon? It usually ends with something getting blown up... eventually..
• Headline: Siebel Systems' Customer Service Reboot. Impact: Siebel Systems' struggles inadvertently opened the door for smaller companies to innovate, leading to a tech revolution that replaced customer service with automated robots that don’t care about your problems, but at least they don't roll their eyes.. Fact: Fun fact: Siebel once had a customer service line so efficient, it was rumored that the waiting time was shorter than actually solving your problem..
• Headline: Concerns Over Absentee Votes Rise. Impact: The absentee ballot panic led to a series of increasingly absurd election security measures, including the introduction of 'vote guardians'—a concept that somehow managed to make everything more confusing and less secure.. Fact: Did you know that absentee ballots are like that friend who says they'll show up but then ghost you? You never really know if they’ll come through until it’s too late..