AUGUST 2, 2004

Full News Archive

• Headline: U.S. Issues Terror Alert for Major Cities. Impact: The warning about a potential Qaeda attack led to unprecedented security measures that would eventually turn airports into the delightful purgatories we know today. Who knew a shoe could be a weapon?. Fact: Did you know that after this warning, the TSA decided that taking your shoes off at the airport was a great way to make you feel more secure? Nothing screams safety like a public shoe inspection!.
• Headline: Garciaparra's Cubs Debut: A Spectacle. Impact: Garciaparra's standing ovation started a chain reaction of unrealistic expectations for every player who came after him. The Cubs would go on to be haunted by the specter of 'what if' for years after.. Fact: Did you know that despite the cheers, the Cubs still managed to find creative ways to underperform? It's almost like they had a PhD in 'Cubbie-style' disappointment..
• Headline: Combatting Invasive Vines in Westchester. Impact: The battle against invasive vines turned parks into battlegrounds, leading to a future where gardeners would have to fight not just for beauty, but for survival in the face of nature's relentless ambition.. Fact: Did you know that these vines were so invasive, they even considered running for office? Imagine a vine on a campaign trail: 'Vote for me, I'm great at climbing the social ladder!'.
• Headline: Sports of The Times; Turning the Underdogs Into Fencing Champions. Impact: Peter Westbrook’s fencing academy created a new wave of interest in fencing. Little did they know this would lead to a resurgence in 80s-themed fencing movies, complete with questionable plotlines and neon outfits.. Fact: Did you know that fencing is one of the few sports where you can look like a ninja while simultaneously trying to stab someone? Who knew elegance and aggression could go hand in hand?.
• Headline: A Coup de Hollywood at the United Nations; Persistent Sydney Pollack Succeeds Where Hitchcock Failed, in Getting Nod to Shoot on Location. Impact: Pollack's ability to film at the UN set the precedent for future filmmakers to think they could just waltz into important institutions with a camera. Spoiler: it didn’t always work out well.. Fact: Did you know that Hitchcock once tried to film at the UN and was turned down? Apparently, they were concerned about him making a horror film about global politics. Can't imagine why!.