JULY 13, 2004

Full News Archive

• Headline: Margot Fonteyn: A Dance Legend Remembered. Impact: Fonteyn's aura, once dazzling audiences, ultimately led to a global obsession with ballet. Cities started building more theaters, and suddenly, everyone thought they could pirouette their way to fame. Spoiler alert: they couldn't.. Fact: Did you know that Margot Fonteyn once danced with Rudolf Nureyev? Their partnership is often called the 'greatest dance duo ever.' No pressure, right?.
• Headline: Zarqawi: From Prison to Terror Leader. Impact: Zarqawi’s reputation as a tough guy paved the way for countless action movies featuring 'the misunderstood villain.' If only he’d taken up stand-up comedy instead, we might have a very different world today. Who knew fear could have such a dramatic impact on Hollywood?. Fact: Did you know that Zarqawi was once considered a 'man of the people' in his prison? I guess the bar was set low for leadership skills back then!.
• Headline: Bush Forcefully Defends War, Citing Safety of U.S. and World. Impact: Bush's defense of the war solidified the term 'weapons of mass distraction' in political discourse. The ripple effect? Countless hours of political debates where no one gets anywhere but everyone leaves angrier than they arrived.. Fact: Did you know that Bush's speeches often featured the same level of conviction as a toddler insisting they didn't eat the last cookie? But hey, at least he was consistent!.
• Headline: MORGAN STANLEY SETTLES BIAS SUIT WITH $54 MILLION. Impact: Morgan Stanley's decision to settle the bias suit set a precedent that made corporate America rethink how they treat their employees. Or at least, how they pay them. Now everyone gets to pretend they care about equality while still ignoring it.. Fact: Did you know that $54 million could buy a small island? Just think of all the women who could have lived in paradise instead of dealing with corporate nonsense!.