JUNE 27, 2004

Full News Archive

• Headline: Documentary on John Kerry's Presidential Race. Impact: If John Kerry’s life were a film, it would have inspired a thousand awkward campaign songs, leading to the rise of the cringe-worthy political musical genre. Fast forward a few decades, and we might just see a Broadway show detailing the life of your average politician—complete with jazz hands and dramatic monologues about healthcare reform.. Fact: Did you know that if you watch too many political documentaries, you might start questioning your life choices? Welcome to the club!.
• Headline: The Subtle Power of Lesbian Style. Impact: The rise of lesbian fashion influencers led to a global trend of 'androgynous chic' that eventually trickled down to every hipster coffee shop. In a bizarre twist, it also led to the accidental revival of 90s grunge, causing mass confusion among millennials.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'lesbian chic' has nothing to do with being a chic lesbian? It’s just a fancy way of saying 'I have no idea what I’m wearing today.'.
• Headline: Crimes of Others Wrecked Enron, Ex-Chief Says. Impact: Kenneth Lay’s denial and blame game created a blueprint for future corporate executives on how to dodge accountability. This would eventually lead to the invention of the classic phrase, 'It’s not my fault, it’s the market's fault.' Who knew stock markets could be so sneaky?. Fact: In a twist of fate, if you say 'Enron' in a corporate boardroom, it’s the equivalent of saying 'Voldemort' in Hogwarts—everyone goes silent, and you can almost hear the whispers of 'never speak of it again.'.
• Headline: BEHIND THE WHEEL/2005 Ford Escape; An S.U.V. Passes Up A Major Makeover. Impact: The barely-there makeover of the Ford Escape led to a gradual decline in the popularity of SUVs, paving the way for an era where people would rather ride bicycles than be seen in an outdated vehicle. In 2050, they'll be considered the 'vintage' option, just like cassette tapes are today.. Fact: Did you know that the Ford Escape was so unremarkable that it could easily blend in with a crowd of beige walls? It’s the automotive equivalent of the middle child..