JUNE 18, 2004

Full News Archive

• Headline: Underdog Surges at US Open. Impact: If David Roesch had not tied for third in the US Open, golf might have turned into a competitive knitting league. Who knew a no-name could keep our sport from going soft?. Fact: David Roesch's performance was so shocking that even the golf gods had to check their scorecards twice!.
• Headline: Companies Lobby Against Accounting Reforms. Impact: This little accounting favor fest kicked off a slippery slope that led to corporate America treating financial statements like a magician’s hat—full of tricks and disappearing acts. Who needs transparency when you can just ask nicely?. Fact: The only thing less transparent than corporate accounting practices is a politician's campaign promise!.
• Headline: Merck Supports Drug Trial Tracking Database. Impact: Merck's support could be seen as the moment when accountability finally decided to crash the pharmaceutical party—leading to future generations of patients actually knowing what they're swallowing. Imagine that!. Fact: It's almost like Merck realized that keeping track of drug trials might be more responsible than letting them just... happen. Shocking, I know!.
• Headline: The Price Of Life After 9/11. Impact: The creation of the Sept 11 Victim Compensation Fund started a new era of government payouts—where the idea of 'sorry for your loss' could be translated into cold hard cash. Who knew grief had a price tag?. Fact: Legal opinions are so divided on the fund that it might as well be the original 'you say tomato, I say tomahto' debate—but with more money involved!.
• Headline: Bush and Cheney Talk Strongly Of Qaeda Links With Hussein. Impact: Bush and Cheney’s claims about Qaeda links turned into a wild goose chase that led to wars and geopolitical chaos, proving that sometimes the biggest lies have the longest legs. It’s like the worst game of telephone ever.. Fact: To this day, the phrase 'collaborative relationship' is still the most confusing term in diplomacy, right next to 'friendly fire'!.