JUNE 6, 2004

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Mystery of Iraqi Currency Distribution. Impact: The investigation into the Iraqi central bank's mysterious $650 million became the blueprint for future heists. You see, it inspired a new generation of 'financial adventurers' who thought robbing banks was too mainstream and opted for a more international flair.. Fact: Did you know that $650 million is just a casual afternoon for some hedge fund managers? The real mystery is how they keep their hair so perfect while stealing money from the poor..
• Headline: More Studios, Less Propaganda Initiative. Impact: Michael Kimmelman's idea for studios at the World Trade Center site led to a renaissance of artists creating profound works about the human condition—while simultaneously causing an influx of hipsters who now believe their coffee is best served with a side of existential dread.. Fact: Did you know that 'Museum of Freedom' was almost named 'Museum of Things We Pretend to Care About'? It was a close call, folks..
• Headline: Fighters Loyal to Radical Cleric Start Pullout From 2 Iraq Cities. Impact: The withdrawal of fighters loyal to Moktada al-Sadr set in motion a series of events that would lead to more political chaos and endless debates about who really controls the remote. This, of course, caused a shortage of popcorn at political watch parties.. Fact: Did you know that Moktada al-Sadr once considered a career in stand-up comedy? Thankfully, he opted for leading a militia instead—because who needs punchlines when you have a whole country to manage?.
• Headline: Diabetes: Faces of an Epidemic; From Mother to Daughter, Shared Genes and a Burden. Impact: The article on diabetes and its impact on women sparked a worldwide campaign for better health education, inadvertently leading to a rise in kale sales and a sharp decline in cookie consumption. The butterfly flaps its wings, and suddenly everyone’s on a juice cleanse.. Fact: Did you know that Type 2 diabetes is often referred to as 'lifestyle diabetes'? Because nothing says 'lifestyle' like having to say no to your mom's famous cookies at every family gathering..