MAY 29, 2004

Full News Archive

• Headline: OPEC Considers Oil Quota Adjustments. Impact: If OPEC had decided to drop oil quotas entirely, we might have seen a world where gas prices plummeted and people started driving giant gas-guzzling SUVs again. Thank you, OPEC, for keeping the planet on its toes – or maybe just on a treadmill of endless fuel hikes.. Fact: Did you know that 'OPEC' stands for 'Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries'? It might as well stand for 'Oh, Please! Everyone Cries!' when oil prices spike..
• Headline: Chalabi's Supporters Rally to His Defense. Impact: Ahmad Chalabi’s case could have changed the course of U.S. foreign policy. If he had been seen as a hero instead of a villain, we might be living in a world where 'Chalabi' is synonymous with 'trustworthy' instead of 'let's not and say we did.'. Fact: Did you know that Richard N. Perle once suggested that the U.S. could easily invade Iraq and be greeted as liberators? Spoiler alert: that didn’t age well..
• Headline: A Search for Clues to a Student's Killing. Impact: The investigation into Sarah Fox's tragic death might have led to a nationwide crackdown on unsolved student murders. If only they had found her pink CD player earlier, it could have sparked a movement for better safety protocols, or at least an increase in drama club funding.. Fact: Did you know that the average age of a drama student is 21? Coincidentally, that's also the age when one becomes too cool for a CD player..
• Headline: BUSINESS DIGEST. Impact: If consumer spending had not risen, we might still be living in a world where thrift stores are the hottest new shopping destinations, and online shopping would be the equivalent of a scavenger hunt.. Fact: Did you know that 'business digest' sounds a lot more appetizing than it actually is? It’s like eating a salad when you really wanted pizza..