MAY 26, 2004

Full News Archive

• Headline: Aspirin's Role in Breast Cancer Prevention. Impact: Thanks to aspirin's new reputation as a breast cancer prevention miracle, it became the go-to excuse for not making dinner. 'Sorry, honey, I can't cook tonight; I'm busy preventing tumors!'. Fact: Aspirin was originally derived from willow bark, which makes you wonder how many Ancient Romans were just one bad headache away from discovering modern medicine..
• Headline: Revival of Sight Unseen Shines Again. Impact: The revival of 'Sight Unseen' sparked a chain reaction in theatergoers who suddenly believed they could analyze their own love lives as deeply as the characters. Cue the increase in awkward first-date discussions about existential angst.. Fact: Donald Margulies, the playwright, once described writing plays as 'like attempting to find the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle in a box full of Legos.' Who knew love was so complicated?.
• Headline: Different by Design, Soon to Be Less So; Rethinking Atlantic Center With the Customer in Mind. Impact: The transformation of the Atlantic Center Mall inadvertently led to countless lost souls wandering through confusing corridors, searching for the food court like it was the Holy Grail. Spoiler: it wasn't worth it.. Fact: Malls once were the pinnacle of social life, but now they are just sad memories of when people thought shopping was a viable form of entertainment. Who knew 'retail therapy' would become a therapy for the retail apocalypse?.
• Headline: Defense Dept. Delays Action On Boeing Jets Till November. Impact: Delaying the decision on Boeing jets until after the election means the outcome could be swayed by the candidate who promises the most plane-shaped giveaways. Because nothing says democracy like a delayed multi-billion dollar contract.. Fact: Donald Rumsfeld once famously said, 'There are known knowns, known unknowns, and unknown unknowns.' This quote perfectly sums up the state of military contracts: confusing and definitely overpriced!.