MAY 7, 2004

Full News Archive

• Headline: Asahi Breweries Reports Strong Profit Growth. Impact: Had Asahi Breweries not turned their profits around, we might have been deprived of a world where people mix beer with obscure fruit flavors. Imagine a world without wasabi-flavored beer. Horrifying.. Fact: Did you know that 2.35 billion yen is just enough to fund a small country's campaign to promote beer as a legitimate food group? Cheers to that!.
• Headline: Filmmakers Flock to NYC's Gritty Alleys. Impact: The rise of 'creepy alleyway' films paved the way for a new genre: 'Urban Horror.' Soon, people will be paying millions to film in 'the most haunted dumpster' instead of actual haunted houses.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing scarier than a creepy alleyway is the price filmmakers will pay to film there. $10,000 a day? That’s some serious ‘ghosted’ budget!.
• Headline: Tibetans' Hunger Strike for Freedom. Impact: The hunger strike of these brave Tibetans may have inspired future protests, potentially leading to a global trend of 'Hunger Strike Chic.' Who knew that fasting could be the next big fashion statement?. Fact: Did you know that hunger strikes are not only a form of protest but also a great way to lose weight? Just kidding, it's a serious issue that deserves attention..
• Headline: After the Deluge. Impact: If Katonah hadn’t been submerged, we might have been deprived of a cultural hub, and 'Museum Mile' would have been just an awkwardly quiet street with no museums or cultural offerings. Thank you, reservoir!. Fact: Did you know that 'After the Deluge' could also be the title of a sad country song about losing your favorite fishing spot? Just a thought..
• Headline: U.S. Forces Move on Outskirts Of Najaf, Installing a Governor. Impact: The aggressive stance in Najaf might have inadvertently sparked a series of awkward government installations, leading to a reality show called 'Governors Gone Wild.' Who knew politics could be entertaining?. Fact: Fun fact: If installing governors were as easy as using IKEA furniture, we might have a lot fewer international incidents. Just grab that Allen wrench and get to work!.