MAY 1, 2004

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bullying in Schools: A Call to Action. Impact: If only school administrators had taken Joey Bari's case seriously, perhaps the next generation wouldn't have had to deal with a reality show star becoming president. Bullying may have been curbed, and we could be living in a world where the phrase 'You're fired!' is still just an angry shout from a parent.. Fact: Did you know that bullying can lead to increased mental health issues? But hey, who needs mental health when you can just ignore it and hope it goes away?.
• Headline: Butch Krichman: Umpire Extraordinaire. Impact: Butch Krichman, the Iron Man of umpires, might just be the reason why we have an entire industry of sports commentary. Without his 8,000 games, would we even have the phrase 'It's a whole new ball game'? Probably not. Thanks, Butch, for setting the bar high and making us all feel inadequate.. Fact: Fun fact: Umpires have one of the toughest jobs in sports, and yet they still manage to be the most underappreciated people on the field. Ever met a fan who loves an umpire? Yeah, me neither..
• Headline: At the Met, Concerns Over the Maestro's Health. Impact: James Levine's health concerns remind us that even the greatest maestros are just humans. His tremors might have led to a new genre of music: 'Unintended Jazz.' The world may never know the symphonies that could have been, but at least we got a few awkward performances out of it.. Fact: Tremors can be caused by stress, and conducting an orchestra is basically the definition of stress. So, does that mean all musicians are just one bad review away from a tremor? Yikes!.
• Headline: MARINES TRANSFER FALLUJA POSITIONS TO AN IRAQI FORCE. Impact: The Marines transferring positions in Falluja may have been a historic move, but it also paved the way for endless debates about military strategy over coffee in suburban living rooms. Ah, the joys of armchair generals, who somehow think they know better than actual military personnel.. Fact: Fun fact: Transferring military positions often leads to a game of 'Who can pass the buck faster?' in politics. Spoiler alert: Everyone loses..