FEBRUARY 26, 2004

Full News Archive

• Headline: Gibson's Career Controversy Ignited. Impact: If Mel Gibson's film hadn't made waves, the modern-day concept of the 'Hollywood bad boy' might have never surfaced. Imagine a world where actors just acted and didn't need to be controversial to get attention. Boring, right?. Fact: The Passion of the Christ was such a hot topic that it inspired more debates than actual viewers in some circles. Who knew a film about Jesus would cause more drama than a reality TV show?.
• Headline: Cancer Drug Comparison Blocked by Legislation. Impact: In a parallel universe where drug companies didn't manipulate Congress, we might have seen a breakthrough in cancer treatments years earlier. But hey, who needs progress when you've got profits?. Fact: This little legislative maneuver ensured that the only thing being compared was which pharmaceutical company could spend more on lobbying. Spoiler alert: it's always the one with the most cash..
• Headline: Softbank Shares Drop Amid Extortion Arrests. Impact: If those arrests hadn't happened, Softbank might have continued to soar, leading to a tech boom that could have resulted in a world where we never had to hear the phrase 'Can you hear me now?'. Fact: In Japan, extorting a company is like a rite of passage for some. It's almost a compliment to their tech prowess. If only they put that energy into making better phone plans!.
• Headline: Yanks Want Second Baseman to Fit Like a Glove. Impact: The Yankees' desperate search for a second baseman has led to an entire generation of children wanting to be baseball players simply because they thought it was an easy gig. Spoiler alert: it’s not.. Fact: The phrase 'fit like a glove' has never been more appropriate—especially since most players can't even find a glove that fits their egos!.
• Headline: Tradition? The Delicate Task of Retuning 'Fiddler'. Impact: If Fiddler on the Roof hadn't been revived, we might have missed out on a whole new generation of people trying to pronounce 'Tevye' correctly. The horror!. Fact: The real delicate task of retuning Fiddler is making sure the audience doesn't throw tomatoes. It's easier to throw a fit than to actually critique the art, right?.