FEBRUARY 5, 2004

Full News Archive

• Headline: Films Honored in National Film Registry. Impact: If National Lampoon's Animal House hadn't made the cut, we might never have had the modern college comedy. Imagine a world without awkward toga parties and questionable life choices captured on film. You can thank that decision for all those regrettable decisions made during freshman year!. Fact: The Library of Congress actually has a collection of over 1,000 films! So, if you ever feel like your Netflix choices are limited, just remember that there’s a whole world of 'landmark' cinema waiting to be unearthed..
• Headline: Urgent Need for School Funding in NYC. Impact: The $4 billion needed for New York's schools set off a chain reaction: politicians began promising more funding, leading to endless debates, and ultimately, the invention of a new sport—Budgetary Tug-of-War. Future generations will thank us for their advanced skills in dodging responsibility!. Fact: In 2001, New York City's schools had over 1 million students. So, that’s just about $4,100 per student for a 'sound basic education.' That’s a bargain if you consider how much a single overpriced coffee costs these days!.
• Headline: Sex and the City Finale: NYC's Enduring Charm. Impact: The end of Sex and the City was like the butterfly that flapped its wings and caused a tsunami of dating shows, fashion disasters, and brunches that would haunt New Yorkers for decades. Truly, the city evolved into a relatable sitcom of its own, complete with erratic plot twists.. Fact: Sex and the City was actually based on a book! Who knew that the glamorous lives of Carrie Bradshaw and her friends started with a writer's musings on single life? Talk about a glow-up!.
• Headline: Aventis Chief To Take Case Into the Open. Impact: If Igor Landau had accepted the $60 billion bid from Sanofi-Synthelabo, we might have seen a much different landscape in pharmaceuticals. Imagine a world where we were all taking the same vitamin that also doubled as a mood enhancer—goodbye variety, hello blandness!. Fact: The pharmaceutical industry is so lucrative that a $60 billion offer is just a drop in the bucket. They should really consider offering a subscription model for all those life-saving drugs!.
• Headline: World Business Briefing | Europe: Britain: Broadcast Executive Leaves. Impact: Martin Stewart leaving British Sky Broadcasting could be the catalyst for the rise of a new generation of broadcast executives who will inevitably bungle the next big financial deal. Thanks, Martin, for paving the way for future corporate chaos!. Fact: British Sky Broadcasting was one of the first companies to introduce the concept of pay television in the UK. So, let's just say Martin is leaving behind a legacy of charging people for watching TV—thank you, capitalism!.