JANUARY 22, 2004

Full News Archive

• Headline: Electrocution Sparks Controversy in NYC. Impact: If Jodie Lane hadn't been electrocuted, perhaps NYC would have invested in better infrastructure sooner, leading to a world where we all walk around with shock-proof shoes. Or, you know, maybe just more utility box maintenance.. Fact: Did you know that NYC has more utility boxes than you can shake a stick at? Unfortunately, some of them are just a little too electrifying..
• Headline: Martha Stewart Jury Selection Insights. Impact: Martha Stewart's trial was a real turning point in the culinary world. Who knew that watching her products would lead to a surge in people suddenly wanting to bake their own bread? Thanks, Martha!. Fact: Did you know that if you watched Martha Stewart's trial instead of her cooking shows, you might have learned how to make a perfect soufflé while also being semi-convicted of insider trading?.
• Headline: Internet Regulations and Surveillance Tension. Impact: The easing of Internet regulations could have led to a dystopian future where everyone is monitored 24/7. Oh wait, we kind of live in that now. Thanks, 2000s!. Fact: Did you know that the federal government's idea of surveillance is basically just a really nosy neighbor with a webcam? 'Just checking in on you!'.
• Headline: World Business Briefing | Asia: India: Software Service Profit. Impact: Wipro's profit growth might have inspired other companies to realize that, hey, they could actually make money too. Imagine a world where everyone just got rich off software services! Oh, wait, that happened.. Fact: Did you know that 2.74 billion rupees is about as much as my couch has seen in loose change? Time to check those couch cushions!.