JANUARY 15, 2004

Full News Archive

• Headline: Revolutionizing Home Recording with iLife '04. Impact: If everyone had a recording studio in a box, we'd probably have avoided the rise of some truly atrocious pop music, but then again, the butterfly effect suggests that perhaps Justin Bieber was destined to happen anyway.. Fact: iLife '04 paved the way for the countless hours you’ve spent recording your cat’s meows over a techno beat. Thanks, Apple!.
• Headline: Arrest of Parmalat Executive's Wife Explained. Impact: Donatella's arrest triggered a series of events that led to stricter financial regulations. Who knew that one suspicious withdrawal could shake the very foundations of Italian dairy companies? Talk about a cheesy scandal!. Fact: Parmalat was involved in one of the largest financial frauds in Europe. So, if you're eating cheese, just remember: it might be more criminal than you think!.
• Headline: S.E.C. Proposes New Fund Governance Rules. Impact: This SEC proposal was like a cosmic reset button for mutual funds. Suddenly, board members began wearing ties, and funds had to pretend they cared about independence. It’s like a soap opera, minus the melodrama.. Fact: The SEC's proposal is a reminder that sometimes, the only way to fix a sinking ship is to throw the captain overboard. Or in this case, the board members..
• Headline: Deal Expands Gap Between Leaders and Pack. Impact: This deal was the final nail in the coffin of teamwork. Leaders got even fancier offices while the pack struggled to keep up. It’s like the corporate Hunger Games, minus the fun.. Fact: In the corporate world, it’s always 'eat or be eaten.' So, good luck to the pack—may the odds be ever in your favor!.
• Headline: Somebody Please Turn Up the Heat, Hand Over a Blanket and Call 311. Impact: The explosion of complaints about heat was the moment New Yorkers decided that they would rather be freezing than deal with the city bureaucracy. This led to a mass movement of people adopting cats for warmth.. Fact: New York's 311 line might just be the unintentional therapist for a city full of complaints. You can complain about heat, potholes, or even your neighbor's awful music—just don’t expect a solution!.