JANUARY 10, 2004

Full News Archive

• Headline: Saddam Hussein Designated as P.O.W.. Impact: When Saddam was given P.O.W. status, it set off a chain reaction of legal debates that would fuel conspiracy theories for decades. Imagine a world where every dictator thought they could cash in on P.O.W. rights! We might have seen a new trend of tyrants auditioning for humanitarian awards.. Fact: Did you know that Saddam's legal team probably had more twists than a daytime soap opera? Too bad they didn't have a talent show instead!.
• Headline: Mets Pursue Guerrero Amid Market Lull. Impact: The Mets' lack of interest in Guerrero initiated a series of events leading to a decade of underwhelming trades and roster decisions. If the Mets had taken a chance, who knows? They might have made it to the World Series. Or at least not been the butt of so many jokes.. Fact: Fun fact: The Mets could have bought a small island with the money they've wasted over the years. But hey, who needs an island when you can have a mediocre baseball team?.
• Headline: The Trolley Guy's Last Ride. Impact: Bob Diamond's trolley dreams came to an end, which meant Brooklyn had to wait another decade for hipsters to rediscover public transport as a 'chic' way to get around. Thanks, Bob, for allowing the millennials' Instagram feeds to remain unbothered by inconvenient public transit!. Fact: Did you know that Bob's trolley was only 12 feet long? A perfect metaphor for New York City’s idea of progress: long on promises, short on delivery!.
• Headline: Plea Talks In Enron Case Said to Unravel. Impact: The unraveling plea talks in the Enron case set the stage for countless courtroom dramas, both in real life and on TV. Who knew that corporate greed and ineptitude could create such riveting entertainment? It’s like the ultimate tragicomedy of capitalism.. Fact: Did you know that Enron's downfall was so dramatic that it could be turned into a Broadway musical? Just imagine: 'Enron: The Musical' – where the only thing they sell is hope!.