JANUARY 5, 2004

Full News Archive

• Headline: Kurdish Region Maintains Autonomy in Iraq. Impact: The decision to let the Kurdish region keep its special status led to a delightful chain of events; decades later, people are still trying to figure out how to balance ethnic identities in a political landscape that resembles a game of Jenga. One wrong move, and we might just have a global crisis on our hands—or a really confusing board game night.. Fact: Did you know that when the U.S. intervenes in foreign countries, it's sort of like a toddler playing with building blocks? They might think they're making something great, but it's often just a colorful mess..
• Headline: Blair's Surprise Visit to Iraq Troops. Impact: Tony Blair’s surprise visit to troops was such a hit that it turned into a global trend! Now every world leader gets a selfie with their troops—because nothing says 'I care' like a photo op in a war zone. Who needs to solve conflicts when you can take pictures?. Fact: Fun fact: Blair's visit was so surprising, even the troops thought he was just a hologram created to distract them from the reality of their situation..
• Headline: Louisiana State Squeezes Onto Throne With Southern California. Impact: LSU's victory in the Sugar Bowl sparked a decades-long tradition of Southern schools bragging about their football prowess, leading to a few too many 'we're number one!' bumper stickers and a surge in tailgate parties. Who knew a game could be the birthplace of so much cholesterol?. Fact: Did you know that winning the Sugar Bowl is pretty much like getting a gold star in the world of college football? Except, you know, without the actual gold..
• Headline: AFGHAN COUNCIL GIVES APPROVAL TO CONSTITUTION. Impact: The approval of Afghanistan's new constitution was a monumental moment, leading to years of hope and struggle as people tried to figure out what democracy looks like in a war-torn country. Spoiler alert: it's a lot messier than anyone anticipated, like trying to assemble IKEA furniture without instructions.. Fact: Fun fact: The delegates took three weeks to debate the constitution, which is approximately 2.5 weeks longer than most people take to decide what to have for dinner..