NOVEMBER 19, 2003

Full News Archive

• Headline: Freddy Adu's Historic M.L.S. Contract. Impact: Freddy Adu's signing ignited a global obsession with young athletes, leading to a rise in toddler soccer leagues where parents push their 3-year-olds into professional training. Thanks, Freddy, for the next generation of overly ambitious soccer moms.. Fact: Adu became the face of 'what could have been' in American sports. Spoiler: he didn't turn out to be the next Messi, but hey, at least he got a cool six-year deal!.
• Headline: Quietly, North Korea Opens Markets. Impact: North Korea's market opening was the butterfly that flapped its wings and somehow led to a bizarre trend of people wearing 'I love Kim' t-shirts in South Korea. Fashion is a funny thing.. Fact: While the world was tightening screws, North Korea was loosening belts—literally, as people tried to embrace a smidgen of capitalism. Who knew the secret to diplomacy was just a good old-fashioned shopping spree?.
• Headline: Mixed Outlook as Losses Persist for Phone Giants. Impact: The phone giants' struggles created a ripple effect that led to countless hipsters picking up vintage flip phones, believing they were making a bold statement—when really, they just forgot to charge their smartphones.. Fact: Vodafone's loss was just a reminder that in the world of tech, the only thing more volatile than stock prices is your teenager's mood when the Wi-Fi goes down..