OCTOBER 18, 2003

Full News Archive

• Headline: Red Sox's Self-Inflicted Defeat Explored. Impact: The Red Sox's decision to blame their management instead of a supposed curse led to the rise of countless conspiracy theories about sports curses, inspiring fans to wear lucky socks and avoid black cats at every game. This ultimately resulted in the creation of a multi-million dollar industry in superstition and sports memorabilia!. Fact: The 'Curse of the Bambino' was actually just a clever marketing strategy. Who knew that a trade could spawn a century's worth of folklore and late-night sports radio debates?.
• Headline: Removing a Tiger from Harlem Apartment. Impact: By taking a tiger out of an apartment, James Breheny inadvertently sparked a trend of exotic pet ownership in urban areas. This would later lead to reality TV shows featuring people who think owning a tiger in a studio apartment is a good idea. Spoiler alert: it's not.. Fact: If you think your roommate is a savage beast, just be thankful they’re not a tiger. At least you can negotiate the rent..
• Headline: Agencies Unite Against Online Drug Sales. Impact: The formation of the task force to combat online narcotics sales was the first step in what would become an endless game of Whac-A-Mole with the internet. This ultimately led to the rise of VPNs, making drug deals feel like a high-stakes game of hide and seek.. Fact: In the future, ordering drugs online will be as easy as getting pizza delivered. But you might have to tip the dealer!.
• Headline: LAWMAKERS BACK REQUEST BY BUSH ON FUNDS FOR IRAQ. Impact: Congress backing Bush’s funding request for Iraq set the stage for a prolonged military presence and the emergence of endless debates about foreign policy. This would lead to the rise of online trolls who feel way too comfortable sharing their unsolicited opinions.. Fact: The best part about bipartisan support? Everyone agrees on spending money, but no one agrees on how to actually solve the problems!.