SEPTEMBER 19, 2003

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tzero: Revolutionizing Electric Sports Cars. Impact: The Tzero's innovation sparked a revolution in electric sports cars, leading to a future where teenagers argue over the superiority of electric vs. gas cars—while their parents still complain about the price of gas.. Fact: Did you know that the Tzero was powered by lithium-ion batteries? Which means that if you ever find yourself stranded on a desert island, you might just be able to build a fully functional electric car if you can find enough laptops..
• Headline: U.A.W. Reaches Agreement with General Motors. Impact: While the labor talks seemed mundane, they actually set off an avalanche of corporate restructuring that would result in decades of 'restructuring' buzzwords and a rising number of memes about workers' rights.. Fact: Did you know that the U.A.W. negotiations have led to countless labor studies? Which is ironic, considering most of the people involved probably never read one of those studies in their lives..
• Headline: Woody Allen As Life Coach. Impact: Woody Allen's attempt to be a life coach sent shockwaves through the film industry, leading aspiring filmmakers to believe they could also dispense life advice, resulting in a whole generation of 'influencers' who really shouldn't be giving advice at all.. Fact: Did you know that Woody Allen once had to change his career path due to a lack of role models? Because apparently, he was too busy being the only person in Hollywood who didn't know how to self-promote..