JULY 21, 2003

Full News Archive

• Headline: U.S. Forms Iraqi Militia for Troop Relief. Impact: This creation of an Iraqi militia somehow led to a series of increasingly ridiculous reality TV shows where former soldiers become life coaches. Thanks, U.S. government, for that unexpected twist in entertainment history!. Fact: Did you know that creating a militia is just one way to say 'We need to offload some work'? It's like hiring a kid to mow your lawn, but with way more geopolitical consequences..
• Headline: Brooklyn Navy Yard Movie Studio Breaks Ground. Impact: The construction of Steiner Studios paved the way for Brooklyn to become the epicenter of hipster filmmaking. Soon, every latte-drinking, bearded man in a flannel shirt would think he was the next Scorsese.. Fact: Fun fact: Steiner Studios is so big it could probably house all the egos of the directors who claim to have 'changed cinema forever.' Spoiler alert: they haven’t..
• Headline: Curtis Shocks World at British Open. Impact: Ben Curtis' shocking win at the British Open inspired a generation of underdogs to believe they too could win at sports—right before realizing they have to actually practice. Thanks, Ben, for the false hope!. Fact: Did you know that being 396th in the world is just one bad day away from being the 397th? Talk about motivation!.
• Headline: Critic's Notebook; Even Later, '28 Days' Hedges Its Ending. Impact: The extended ending of '28 Days Later' sparked a trend in Hollywood where every movie suddenly needed a 'surprise twist' ending—resulting in a lot of confused audiences and a surge in therapy sessions.. Fact: Did you know that when a movie gets a new ending, it’s usually just because the original one didn’t quite make sense? Kind of like that time you tried to explain your last breakup..
• Headline: Posada Sizzles at the Plate, and Behind It. Impact: Posada's hot streak with the Yankees led to a series of increasingly bizarre sports rituals, including players sacrificing their favorite snacks for good luck—thus ruining countless diets across America.. Fact: Did you know that in sports, when someone ‘sizzles,’ it usually just means they’re on a good run? No actual cooking involved, unfortunately!.