JULY 13, 2003

Full News Archive

• Headline: New York Philharmonic in Cunningham Park. Impact: This concert was the catalyst that led to an underground society of concertgoers who believed that by attending classical music events, they could unlock the secrets of the universe. They’re still trying to figure it out, one off-key note at a time. Fact: Did you know that Queens is home to more than just concerts? It also has more ethnicities than you can shake a stick at—good luck finding a stick that satisfies everyone!.
• Headline: Bernie Williams' Musical Debut Album Release. Impact: Bernie Williams' album led to a trend where athletes started double dipping in the music world, resulting in the creation of a cross-sport Grammy that nobody wanted but everybody pretended to care about. Just wait until the next Olympic athlete drops a techno album. Fact: Did you know that Bernie Williams is not only a talented musician but also has a degree in jazz studies? Because clearly, being a World Series champion wasn’t enough of an accomplishment.
• Headline: Grand Theft Auto. Impact: The struggle of auto designers to create unique vehicles led to the birth of the dreaded 'crossover SUV,' which has since taken over the roads, making everyone wonder if they should be driving a car or a small apartment. Fact: Did you know that the term 'Grand Theft Auto' was originally used to describe the theft of a sandwich at a diner? Just kidding, but wouldn't that have been a much less violent game?.
• Headline: Scientific Solution to Save Your Skin. Impact: The rise of high-tech skin care products led to the age of over-inflated beauty ideals, where people started believing that a cream could solve all their problems, including emotional ones—spoiler: it can't. Fact: Did you know that the average woman spends about $15,000 on beauty products in her lifetime? That’s a lot of money for something that can’t even buy you happiness—talk about a scam!.