JULY 9, 2003

Full News Archive

• Headline: Brazil's Industrial Growth Trends in 2003. Impact: In a bizarre twist of fate, Brazil's industrial production rising by a mere 0.1% unleashed a chain reaction that ultimately led to the invention of the world's first self-sustaining coffee machine. Scientists claim it was all thanks to those industrious Brazilian workers who just needed a caffeine boost to power through their day.. Fact: Did you know that in Brazil, they consider coffee a food group? So, technically, they were just trying to eat healthier by increasing production!.
• Headline: Eighth Avenue's Small Business Displacement. Impact: The displacement of small store owners for the New York Times headquarters was the start of a trend that would eventually lead to the rise of hipster coffee shops selling $7 lattes in a space that used to be a family-owned deli. Thanks, eminent domain!. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'small strivers' is just a polite way of saying, 'We’re bulldozing your dreams for a trendy office space'? You're welcome!.
• Headline: Sports of The Times; Another N.B.A. Summer Soap Opera. Impact: Kobe Bryant's charges became the first incident where a single sports scandal created a reality TV show format that would dominate the airwaves for decades, forever intertwining sports and sensationalism like peanut butter and jelly.. Fact: Did you know that if you type 'NBA Summer Soap Opera' into a search engine, it will redirect you to an entire literature course on how to turn sports into drama? Talk about a plot twist!.