JUNE 7, 2003

Full News Archive

• Headline: Hamas Cease-Fire Talks Collapse. Impact: Hamas deciding to break off talks was like that one friend who always leaves the group chat when things get serious. This led to a chain reaction of misunderstandings and escalations, ultimately changing the landscape of Middle Eastern politics and making every future ceasefire look like a game of Twister gone wrong.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'cease-fire' is actually from a 19th-century board game? Just kidding, it's not. But wouldn't that make negotiations more fun?.
• Headline: Co-op Conflict Ends in Court Ruling. Impact: The co-op war in Manhattan is a classic case of how a simple disagreement over noise levels can spiral into a legal battle that makes the War of the Roses look like a friendly game of Monopoly. The next thing you know, legal fees are the new currency and neighborly relations are as rare as a unicorn.. Fact: Did you know that the first-ever co-op building was built in New York in 1881? Clearly, they didn’t foresee the drama of 21st-century lawsuits..
• Headline: NBC's Olympic Run Is Extended to 2012 With $2 Billion Bid. Impact: NBC's massive bid for Olympic rights set a precedent that sports broadcasting would never be the same again. As a result, advertisers started thinking they could charge Olympic prices for reruns of 'Friends'—which, let's be real, is a crime against humanity.. Fact: Did you know that the Olympics were originally held in ancient Greece as a religious festival? Now they’re just a giant commercial for Nike and Coca-Cola. Progress!.