APRIL 4, 2003

Full News Archive

• Headline: Reuters Rating Downgrade by S&P. Impact: The lowering of Reuters' rating led to a global panic that caused every journalist to start double-checking their sources, ultimately resulting in a worldwide shortage of credible news. Who knew a credit rating could cause such chaos?. Fact: Did you know that Standard & Poor's rating system is older than the internet? You'd think they could find a better way to ruin a company's day..
• Headline: Export Apple Of China's Eye Is, Er, Apples. Impact: China's apple growers thriving led to the rise of the 'Apple Farmer's Market', where hipsters now pay $5 for a single organic apple, blissfully unaware of the farmers' struggles decades ago.. Fact: In a twist of irony, the phrase 'an apple a day keeps the doctor away' now applies to overpriced organic apples that require a second mortgage..
• Headline: U.S. Forces at Edge of a Blacked-Out Baghdad. Impact: The U.S. forces rolling into Baghdad marked the beginning of a new trend in military strategy: ‘surprise parties’—where no one knows who’s coming or why, resulting in endless confusion.. Fact: History shows that the first foreign army to occupy Baghdad was the British, so clearly, the U.S. just wanted to make sure they wouldn't miss out on the fun..