FEBRUARY 11, 2003

Full News Archive

• Headline: Gilbert E Kaplan: A Unique Conductor's Journey. Impact: By limiting his repertoire to Mahler's Second Symphony, Kaplan inadvertently caused a global shortage of classical music diversity, leading to a rise in interpretive dance as the preferred art form by 2040. Thanks, Gilbert!. Fact: Did you know that conducting only one piece might actually qualify you for a Guinness World Record in the 'Most Repetitive Career Choice'? Talk about a niche market!.
• Headline: Discovery in Verrocchio's David Sculpture. Impact: The misplaced head of Goliath sparked a series of debates among art historians, leading to the eventual establishment of the International Society for the Preservation of Sculptural Accuracy, which later became embroiled in a scandal involving 'historical head swaps'.. Fact: Did you know that David's victory over Goliath was actually a metaphor for art restoration? Because nothing screams victory like a misplaced head!.
• Headline: Rothschild Prepares for Changing of Guard. Impact: The Rothschild family’s changing of the guard led to a secret society of bankers conspiring to control the world's coffee supply, because you can’t run a banking empire without your daily caffeine fix, right?. Fact: Did you know that 'the changing of the guard' in banking is just code for 'who gets to wear the fanciest suit'? Fashion is everything, even in finance!.
• Headline: World Business Briefing | Asia: South Korea: Opening For Tourism. Impact: The opening of tourism in North Korea inadvertently led to a global fascination with 'extreme vacationing', where people began seeking out increasingly bizarre and dangerous travel destinations, culminating in 'daredevil tours of the Bermuda Triangle'.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing scarier than a North Korean tour guide is the thought of being stuck on a bus with a group of overly enthusiastic tourists? Buckle up!.