JANUARY 20, 2003

Full News Archive

• Headline: IRS Critiques NYC's Pension Withdrawals. Impact: The IRS's revelation about New York City's pension shenanigans inadvertently led to an increased interest in financial literacy. Fast forward to today, and now everyone thinks they’re a tax expert because they watched a YouTube video. Thanks, IRS!. Fact: Did you know that if you take money from your pension to pay for a new yacht, the IRS doesn't consider that 'retirement planning'?.
• Headline: U.S. Pushes Industries for Emission Cuts. Impact: The pressure on industries to cut greenhouse gases was the start of a long and tedious battle between environmentalists and corporations. This would eventually lead to the invention of carbon offsets, where you can 'buy' your way out of guilt—because who needs accountability when you can just pay up?. Fact: Fun fact: If we had cut greenhouse gases as aggressively as we cut cake at parties, we might have saved the planet by now!.
• Headline: EXILE FOR HUSSEIN MAY BE AN OPTION, U.S. OFFICIALS HINT. Impact: The discussions around a potential exile for Saddam Hussein opened Pandora's box of 'what if' scenarios. As a result, countless dictators since have been scouting vacation spots, thinking, 'Maybe I can just hang out in the Bahamas instead of facing justice.'. Fact: Interestingly, the idea of exile has been considered for many tyrants, but it turns out that most of them prefer to stay where the gold is. Who knew?.
• Headline: Swashbucklers Set Off for the Super Bowl. Impact: The Buccaneers' victory set into motion a chain of events that would lead to the phenomenon of Super Bowl Sunday being treated as a national holiday, inspiring even more outrageous halftime shows. Who knew football would turn into an epic spectacle of glitter and nachos?. Fact: Did you know that the term 'swashbucklers' originally referred to pirates? So, in a way, every Super Bowl is just an elaborate pirate battle, complete with treasure in the form of nachos and beer!.