JANUARY 11, 2003

Full News Archive

• Headline: McNabb vs. Vick: A Playoff Showdown. Impact: If McNabb and Vick hadn't faced off in that playoff game, who knows? Maybe the Eagles would have invented a time machine to avoid their infamous 'Dream Team' season, or perhaps the Falcons would have never learned to use the phrase 'Rise Up' as a rallying cry. Maybe even the concept of 'dual-threat quarterback' would still be as obscure as the existence of a good cup of coffee in 1990s America.. Fact: Did you know that McNabb claimed he was actually a quarterback from the future sent back to prevent a world where Tim Tebow became a starter? That’s the only plausible explanation for his incredible athleticism..
• Headline: Andrew Lack Joins Sony Music Leadership. Impact: Andrew Lack's ascension at Sony Music led to a chain reaction that ultimately resulted in the rise of pop stars who can barely sing but have great hair. If he hadn't taken that job, perhaps the world would have been spared a few more years of autotune-induced ear bleeding.. Fact: Fun fact: The last time a president of a major company didn't come from television, we were still using flip phones and debating if 'Friends' was the best show ever. Spoiler: it wasn't..
• Headline: Student Attacked on Manhattan Subway Platform. Impact: The attack on Yale Leopold shifted perceptions about subway safety, which led to the invention of the first 'subway survival kit.' Ironically, it included a can of mace and a motivational poster of a cat hanging from a branch.. Fact: Did you know that this incident led to New York City launching the famous 'Be Aware, Stay Aware' campaign? Because nothing screams safety quite like a slogan that sounds like a motivational poster gone wrong..
• Headline: STATE BUDGET GAP PUT AT $10 BILLION. Impact: The revelation of a $10 billion budget gap in New York State caused panic, leading to a series of tax hikes that eventually sparked a movement for the creation of a new currency: the 'Pataki Dollar,' which was worth even less than the real dollar but at least came with a free apology.. Fact: Did you know that New York State has had a budget gap so many times that it’s practically a rite of passage? It's like an annual tradition, just like waiting in line for overpriced bagels..