DECEMBER 18, 2002

Full News Archive

• Headline: Giants Defy Odds in Fourth Quarter. Impact: The Giants' 4th-quarter reversal sparked a nationwide trend where every team's fan base began to believe they could achieve the impossible, leading to an unprecedented number of 'we'll get 'em next year' t-shirts sold across the country.. Fact: The only thing more predictable than the Giants needing a 4th-quarter comeback is the inevitable heartbreak that follows. Go team!.
• Headline: Tyco Director's Historic Guilty Plea. Impact: Frank E Walsh Jr.'s guilty plea set off a chain reaction of corporate scandals, leading CEOs everywhere to invest in better disguises and the creation of the phrase 'It's not me, it's my accountant' becoming the new corporate mantra.. Fact: In the world of corporate fraud, being a board member is now officially the most dangerous job in America—just ask Frank. He'll be in 'accounting jail' while you enjoy your financial freedom!.
• Headline: Deciding on Executive Pay: Lack of Independence Seen. Impact: The study on executive pay revealed such a lack of independence that it led to the invention of the 'Golden Parachute'—a euphemism for 'getting paid while doing absolutely nothing,' which has since become a favorite pastime of executives everywhere.. Fact: If you think your job is tough, just remember: the only thing harder than getting an executive pay raise is getting an executive to actually show up to work. It's a real balancing act!.
• Headline: Calvin Klein Selling His Company To Biggest Shirtmaker in the U.S.. Impact: Calvin Klein's sale to Phillips-Van Heusen marked the beginning of the 'brand name treadmill' era, where fashion designers realized they could sell their names for cash and retire early, leading to an influx of 'luxury' brands with questionable quality.. Fact: Calvin Klein selling his company is like a chef selling their restaurant—great for their bank account but leaves us wondering who will carry on the legacy of overpriced jeans and existential dread..