JULY 28, 2002

Full News Archive

• Headline: Minor League Baseball's Family-Friendly Appeal. Impact: The success of minor league baseball teams led to the rise of overpriced nachos and foam fingers, which eventually culminated in a national shortage of affordable snacks at sporting events. Who knew a family-friendly atmosphere would lead to a crisis in snack economics?. Fact: Did you know that the first minor league team was established in 1885? They were called the 'Cannon Ballers' but they had to change their name after realizing cannons and baseballs don’t mix well..
• Headline: Miners Rescued from Quecreek Coal Mine. Impact: The dramatic rescue of the miners sparked a newfound appreciation for hard hats and the phrase 'if it fits, it ships.' This led to an explosion of DIY emergency kits across the nation, which were surprisingly less effective than the actual miners' rescue operation.. Fact: Did you know that the Quecreek mine rescue was one of the most publicized rescue operations in U.S. history? The miners probably became local celebrities, basking in their 'I survived a flood' stories at the bar!.
• Headline: Death Still Certain, but Taxes May Be Subject to a Loophole. Impact: The loophole in life insurance policies created a wave of wealthy individuals who thought they could cheat death and taxes, leading to a boom in the 'How to Live Forever While Paying Zero Taxes' seminars. Spoiler: They were all sold out.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'there are only two certainties in life: death and taxes' was first coined by Benjamin Franklin? He clearly had a knack for the dramatic, or maybe just a great accountant..
• Headline: For Many, Pope's Frailties Now Define Papacy. Impact: Pope John Paul II's frailties led to a newfound appreciation for the elderly and sparked a global movement towards elder care, which ironically resulted in younger generations being told to 'respect their elders' while simultaneously trying to figure out how to avoid it.. Fact: Did you know that despite his health issues, Pope John Paul II traveled more than any other pope in history? Guess he was trying to outpace his own frailty—or just avoid the Vatican's never-ending meetings..