JULY 20, 2002

Full News Archive

• Headline: Ernie Els Shines at British Open 2000. Impact: Ernie Els' performance at the British Open inspired a generation of golfers to take their game more seriously, leading to a golf boom in the early 2000s where more people than ever thought they could be the next big star. Spoiler: most were not.. Fact: Did you know that 'Els' is not just a surname but also the sound most people make when they realize they can't afford golf clubs?.
• Headline: Armstrong's Stage 12 Triumph at Tour de France. Impact: Lance Armstrong's Tour de France dominance made cycling trendy, which in turn inspired thousands of people to wear spandex and ride around towns, causing an unforeseen spike in bike shop sales and awkward tan lines.. Fact: Did you know that Armstrong's success led to an increase in 'I ride my bike' bumper stickers, which are now a staple of suburban life, right next to the minivan?.
• Headline: Illegal Cosmetic Procedures Under Investigation. Impact: The illegal Botox-like injection scandal led to stricter regulations and a black market for beauty treatments, giving rise to the phrase 'Beauty is pain' being taken way too literally by social media influencers.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'a little dab will do ya' was officially retired as a slogan for Botox after this scandal? It's now reserved for dubious hair gel ads..
• Headline: This Barge Is for the Birds: Terns' Return Ruffles Harbor. Impact: The return of terns to the polluted barge was a turning point in environmental awareness, prompting a wave of activists who decided that if birds could adapt, so could humans—leading to an uptick in hipster beekeeping and community garden projects.. Fact: Did you know that common terns are known for their migratory prowess? If only they could migrate away from the garbage barge, that would be a real success story!.
• Headline: New in SoHo: 'For Rent' Signs; Cartier, Saint Laurent and Other Retailers Move On. Impact: The decline of retail in SoHo signaled the beginning of the end for brick-and-mortar shopping, paving the way for online shopping, which ultimately led to people buying cat food at 3 AM in their pajamas.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more permanent than 'For Rent' signs in SoHo is the existential crisis of every retail worker wondering if they chose the right career?.