MAY 24, 2002

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rev. Nelson Arrested for Past Abuse. Impact: This priest's arrest sparked a global reckoning within the church, leading to reforms that were about as welcome as a cold shower in winter. But hey, at least it got people talking about accountability, right? Who knew a scandal could lead to change?. Fact: Did you know that this isn't the first time the church has had to face its past? It's almost like there's a trend here... but let's not pretend this is breaking news..
• Headline: NTT's Debt Ratings Cut by Moody's. Impact: NTT's ratings cut sent shockwaves through the telecommunications industry, prompting a competitive arms race that led to more spam calls than ever! Thanks, Moody's, for making sure we can't escape our phones.. Fact: Fun fact: NTT's name is longer than most people's attention spans when they hear the words 'debt ratings.'.
• Headline: World Business Briefing | Europe: Britain: Fund Group Acquired. Impact: The acquisition turned the hedge fund world into a game of Monopoly, where the rich get richer, and everyone else wonders why they can't afford a house. Just wait until the next financial crisis; it'll be a real party!. Fact: Did you know the hedge fund industry is like a secret club? The only requirement is having way too much money and a complete disregard for average people's bank accounts..