MAY 20, 2002

Full News Archive

• Headline: Cheney Opposes Disclosure of Terror Briefing. Impact: Cheney's decision to keep the intelligence briefing under wraps created a butterfly effect that led to a series of unfortunate events. If Congress had been informed, they might have developed a new security measure, leading to a universe where airport security checks involve less shoe removal and more common sense.. Fact: Did you know that keeping secrets is like a game of Jenga? You pull one block, and the whole tower might come crashing down, only this time, it crashed into a lot of lives..
• Headline: Clemens Overpowers Twins With 13 Strikeouts. Impact: Clemens overpowering the Twins might have caused a ripple effect in baseball, as fans began to believe that all great pitchers need to do is strike people out and hope their team scores. Welcome to the age of unrealistic sports expectations!. Fact: Did you know that Clemens' 13 strikeouts that day were just enough to make every little league parent think their kid could do the same? Sorry, kids, but the only thing you’ll be striking out is your chances of a snack break!.
• Headline: Not Bad, Clones, But Watch Spidey's Legs. Impact: Star Wars: Episode 2's box office performance paved the way for studios to greenlight an endless stream of sequels and prequels. Thanks to those $116.4 million, we now live in a world where every beloved movie is resurrected like a zombie with a lightsaber.. Fact: Did you know that 'Attack of the Clones' was so popular that it convinced studios that nostalgia is a cash cow? Forget original content; let’s just milk every franchise dry!.