APRIL 7, 2002

Full News Archive

• Headline: Escalating Conflict in Northern West Bank. Impact: The intensifying conflict in the West Bank sparked a series of international diplomatic efforts that were so convoluted, they eventually led to the invention of a new board game: 'Peace Talks: The Endless Edition.' It's still in beta testing and requires at least three lifetimes to complete.. Fact: Did you know that the West Bank is actually a great place to find hidden archaeological treasures? Too bad the fighting tends to get in the way of the digging!.
• Headline: Understanding Job Loss and Its Impacts. Impact: The article on job loss inspired a wave of motivational posters that suggested, 'Losing your job is just the universe's way of telling you to binge-watch Netflix.' This led to an unprecedented rise in streaming subscriptions, forever changing the way people viewed unemployment.. Fact: Did you know that losing your job can actually be a great opportunity to explore new hobbies? Like napping, or perfecting the art of making instant ramen!.
• Headline: POSTINGS: Washington Mutual Adds Branches; Bank Expands In Manhattan. Impact: Washington Mutual’s expansion led to a bank branch on every corner, creating a new form of urban wildlife—the elusive 'Bank Branch Stalker,' who quietly roams the streets hoping to find the best interest rates.. Fact: Did you know that banks often expand during economic booms? It's almost like they want to be the first to tell you about your insufficient funds!.
• Headline: BEHIND THE WHEEL/2003 Cadillac CTS; Turning 100, Sparkling Like a Gem. Impact: The 2003 Cadillac CTS ignited a love affair with luxury vehicles that caused people to forget the concept of public transportation entirely. This led to a future where everyone owned a car but couldn't remember how to walk.. Fact: Did you know that turning 100 is a big deal for cars too? Unlike humans, they don’t have to worry about wrinkles or retirement—just a good wax job!.